Biblical Mediation

We help people resolve conflicts and reconcile relationships in a biblically faithful manner.

What is Biblical Mediation?

Biblical mediation applying principles of Christian Conciliation is a process to assist two or more individuals resolve a disagreement or dispute between them. It addresses issues that are material in nature, and/or relational in nature. It can be used to address conflicts when legal or formal steps are not even considered, or as an alternative to resolving disputes through the courts and/or secular alternative dispute resolution services.

It provides a process for reconciling people and resolving the material or substantive disputes in a biblically faithful manner. The process is conciliatory rather than adversarial in nature–that is, it encourages honest communication and reasonable cooperation rather than unnecessary contention and advocacy. The parties retain control and input into the outcome or settlement of their dispute. The mediator facilitates discussion and assists parties in following a process but does not negotiate or advocate for a particular settlement.

How We Can Help

coaching conflict

Conflict Coaching

Get private confidential coaching to help resolve any conflict. A coach is not a counselor or a legal advisor but they are exceptional in helping you understand, manage, and heal broken relationships in a biblically manner.

conflict mediation

Conflict Mediation

We provide help in a variety of situations for individuals to discuss and reach a resolution in a biblically faithful manner while also preserving or restoring the relationship.

group mediation

Group Mediation

When you experience a difficult conflict involving two or more, we will help everyone biblically resolve the issues and seek to reconcile and restore the relationships involved.

The Three Common Steps of Biblical Mediation

  1. One or both parties may receive individual counseling/coaching on how to resolve a dispute personally and privately using biblical principles.

  2. If private efforts are unsuccessful, the individuals may use mediation, a process in which one or more mediators meet with them to promote constructive dialogue, encourage relational reconciliation, and facilitate the voluntary settlement of their differences.

  3. If mediation is unsuccessful, the parties may proceed to Christian arbitration, which means that one or more arbitrators will hear their case and render a legally binding decision.

The Process of Biblical Mediation

The mediation process follows a schedule of six distinct steps. The acronym GOSPEL is used to describe the process:

Greeting and Ground Rules

This phase sets the tone for the mediation by covering the planned schedule and agenda of the mediation, along with explaining and agreeing to the ground rules for conduct during the mediation.

Opening Statements

Opening statements provide the parties with an opportunity to briefly summarize the issues, which they believe need to be addressed to resolve the dispute along with the results the hope to see.

Story Telling

This step gives each party the opportunity to explain and provide the details of their understanding of the issues and position in more detail. Often this is the first time a party has had an opportunity to tell their story in full and to be heard. Additionally, a party may explain and address issues and actions God has revealed and for which parties may need to take responsibility. Pursuant to Mathew 7: 3-5, we are called to start with our own wrongs or actions, before attempting to identify and address the wrongs of the other person.

The goal of this phase is to offer the parties, advisors and mediators an opportunity to gather and clarify information. The mediator and other parties will be able to ask questions to clarify their understanding.

Parties are encouraged to not ignore hurts that have occurred and which have damaged the relationship, unless those offenses can be overlooked without further discussion or clarification. Parties are asked to do more than speak in generalities, but to be specific with examples so that the underlying issues can be fully and clearly addressed.

Problem Identification

Following a sharing of information by the parties, and discussion of the same, the mediator will work with you to clearly define issues (the question(s) the parties want to have answered so they can resolve the dispute) and the interests (the reasons which motivate or underlie each party’s desired position or outcome) of the parties.

Explore Solutions

The mediators work with the parties to brainstorm possible solutions to the problems identified, and to evaluate the suggested solutions reasonably and objectively.

Lead to Agreement

The mediators facilitate and help the parties arrive at an agreement that settles their dispute(s), focusing on both steps for reconciliation and resolving the material or substantive issues. If the parties desire a written document to memorialize their agreements, the mediator will facilitate the parties writing a final agreement. Parties are encouraged to consult with their attorneys regarding a written agreement.

The above steps in the mediation process are the general sequence for the mediation. Each step, however, may require different lengths of time, and there may situations where new facts and additional story telling may be identified during the problem identification or exploring solutions steps, requiring a revisiting of a prior step.

During the course of the mediation, the mediator may meet with the parties separately in a private meeting (referred to as a caucus). These private meetings may occur before the mediation begins, as a time of coaching and helping the party prepare for the mediation, or during the course of the mediation.

certified counselors and mediators
certified counselors and mediators
certified counselors and mediators

Certified biblical counselors and mediators that can help.

Our counselors and mediators have all been certified by various biblical counseling and mediation ministries. We are committed to finding the right counselor or mediator for your current situation and needs.

The 4 G’s of Peacemaking

Glorify God

Instead of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will rejoice in the Lord and bring him praise by depending on his forgiveness, wisdom, power, and love, as we seek to faithfully obey his commands and maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude (Ps.37:1-6; Mark 11:25; John 14:15; Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Cor. 10:31; Phil. 4:2-9; Col. 3:1-4; James 3:17-18; 4:1-3; 1 Peter 2:12).

Get The Log Out Of Your Eye

Instead of blaming others for a conflict or resisting correction, we will trust in God’s mercy and take responsibility for our own contribution to conflicts— confessing our sins to those we have wronged, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused (Prov. 28:13; Matt. 7:3-5; Luke 19:8; Col. 3:5-14; 1 John 1:8-9).

Gently Restore

Instead of pretending that conflict doesn’t exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will overlook minor offenses or we will talk personally and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook, seeking to restore them rather than condemn them. When a conflict with a Christian brother or sister cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a biblical manner (Prov. 19:11; Matt. 18:15- 20; 1 Cor. 6:1-8; Gal. 6:1-2; Eph. 4:29; 2 Tim. 2:24-26; James 5:9).

Go and Be Reconciled

Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation—forgiving others as God, for Christ’s sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences (Matt. 5:23-24; 6:12; 7:12; Eph. 4:1-3, 32; Phil. 2:3-4).

Are you in a conflict? We would love to help.

Mediation FAQ’s

  • Biblical mediation services are provided through mediators that have been certified by the Institute for Christian Conciliation™.

  • Biblical mediation has been used to settle a wide variety of disputes, from purely relational to substantive legal issues. Some of the cases that have been resolved through biblical mediation are:

    • a church was being torn apart by conflicts

    • a church and Christian school were in conflict

    • family members were unable to reconcile after the death of their parents

    • a husband and wife were struggling with an impending divorce

    • a divorced couple disagreed constantly over child support and visitation

  • Biblical mediation is usually less expensive than litigation. Some mediators serve on a volunteer basis, while others charge an hourly fee. In cases of financial hardship, most conciliators will work with the parties to develop a manageable payment plan.

  • Biblical mediation may involve three steps. Initially, one or both parties may receive individual counseling/coaching on how to resolve a dispute personally and privately using biblical principles. If private efforts are unsuccessful, the parties may submit their dispute for mediation, a process in which one or more mediators meet with them to promote constructive dialogue and encourage a voluntary settlement of their differences. Finally, if mediation is unsuccessful, the parties may proceed to arbitration, which means that one or more arbitrators will hear their case and render a legally binding decision.

  • No. Many people who do not profess to be Christians have submitted disputes to mediation and have been pleased with the results. We will evaluate each case on an individual basis, however, and may decline to accept a case if it appears that either party does not respect the Christian principles underlying the process.

  • Biblical mediation promotes biblical values, preserves relationships, encourages beneficial change, avoids negative publicity, provides a positive witness, and is relatively inexpensive. In addition, compared to litigation, biblical mediation is less constrained by rigid procedures, thus often allowing more creative remedies and faster results.